Letter to a Young Activist

Written By Satya Doyle Byock

Engaging and Disengaging is like Inhaling and Exhaling

Photo credit: Koshu Kunii, @koshuuu

I’ve been hearing from people all week about their grief, rage, fear, exhaustion, excitement, and hope around the massive protests in support of Black Lives Matter. These weeks have been a journey for me through all of the same emotions. Anti-racist activism has been an important part of my life since I started college some twenty years ago, and I am deeply moved and tentatively optimistic about what is unfolding. Each day brings new news and new changes. But if we’re truly on the brink of dismantling some of the core structures of the “imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy”, as bell hooks brilliantly puts it, than I am witnessing the realization of a dream I’d only barely believed was possible.

But, this is still a long-haul, and it’s going to take all types of activism and long-term engagement to topple this beast.

I’m encouraging my clients and quarterlifers on the frontlines, as well as those feeling isolated and scrolling all day on social media, to remember two things: self-care is critical & you need to find your lane, and your creativity too.

On Trauma and Stress

One email I received from a young activist read like a list of trauma symptoms: shaking, irritability, crying, and snapping. So many of us have lost our centers. We are scared. Our shoulders are hunched. Our breathing is shortened. Our fists are hot with anger. Our bodies are shaking with hurt.

Whether they are expressions of vicarious traumatization, the personal experience of trauma from events or encounters this week, or the reemergence of trauma from the past, a lot of people are suffering. All of these forms of trauma may, in fact, be overlapping.

No matter how devoted you are to change, you are not a robot. In fact, remembering that you are an embodied mammal is, itself, a radical act in the face of “imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.” These systems of that status-quo function better when we believe that embodiment is weakness, and that we are not part of a living, breathing planet.

Embodiment is beautiful. No matter what.

So please take care of your bodies, no matter what.

Here are a list of twenty tips for releasing stress and trauma from the body that I wrote-up years ago. I encourage you to find what works to come back from dissociation (the “floaty” feeling, sense of not being in your body, or loss of time) and from “fight or flight” (what often feels like a rush of heat, anger that is quick to erupt but not necessarily helpful, anxiety, difficulty sleeping and on).

From M4BL

In these last few weeks, most of my clients have needed reminders to sleep a lot and eat regularly, and to take a step-back from their phones, if even for a few hours at a time. Remember, amongst everything else, we’re still in the middle of a global pandemic! No one alive has ever experienced this, and we’re all still adjusting. This is a radical opportunity to learn your boundaries, your gut-instincts, and your needs while fighting for a better world.

On Setting Boundaries

The Movement for Black Lives created a brilliant, psychologically attuned list of tips for maintaining safety. Please remember, if you’re protesting, your instincts and self-knowledge may be what keeps you safe.

Times to Disengage

As with healing personal traumas, there are times to “go in” and there are times to retreat. Part of good activism is to know when to rest and spend time in the embodied, soulful, timeless depths. It is not giving-up and it is not failing as an ally. It is part of the work. Like breathing, there are times to participate and times to step-back from everything for a time: engage, disengage, engage, disengage.

What engagement and disengagement mean for you will be specific. Each person has a different combination of needs. Directions for how to engage are flooding social media and activist circles, so I’ll offer just a few reminders on ways to disengage for healing:

  • Sleep provides space for integrating, digesting, and making gold of our experiences. Prioritize sleep. Do not de-emphasize sleep.

  • Laughter and joy, even the “frivolous” kind provide space for decompressing.

  • Nature in all its forms, even staring at the clouds or watching the wind move through the trees (without any technology in sight) can be a tremendous balm.

  • Novels and story-telling help activate the imagination and space for that other part of the brain to kick into gear and support with rest and integration.

  • Art and music, dance and movement, let your being move and create.

Please, prioritize your rest and well-being even if you’re being told it’s a privilege, and even if you feel you’re not doing enough.

Yes, to remain disengaged all the time is a privilege and its own form of dissociation. Various religious traditions suggest that this world is all illusory or that the suffering is part of God’s plan and, therefore, not our responsibility to address. But no matter how enlightened or “good” a person is, each of us is alive now, in this world. We are either participating in the status-quo or in the change. There is no way around this reality, and no way to rationalize not engaging in the struggle for change in some form. 

However, to engage all the time will destroy you with exhaustion, rage, and grief. It will not bring us the healing we need. The systems we’re fighting were established to control other humans and nature. These values cannot move forward into what we’re building.

Your healing and self-care, as integrated into your activism, is important modeling for everyone. The body and the inner world are two of the primary casualties of the imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy and two of the realms we need to reclaim for the long-term.

Closing Social Media

Disengaging most likely means spending time away from your phone and social media. Certain platforms have been — and will continue to be — powerful channels to enhance action, gain information, and embolden others. But they can also be dangerous for the nervous system. The experience of “fight, flight, or freeze” trauma states can kick-off very rapidly in that groundswell  of pain and suffering. We can get stuck in cycles of pain and reactivity that are unlikely to manifest the best things for us, or others.

Learn what is happening, share your voice, but give yourself permission to go back into your body and the ancient, historical, embodied, natural, soulful depths for a time as well.

Finding the Personal Triggers

When you’re processing and healing, try to find those ripples of rage that remind you of things from your personal past.

For each of us, when we’re engaged in politics and activism, our own traumas, experiences, and existential thoughts are activated in very personal ways. If you can find those very particular moments of helplessness and hurt you will be more attuned to when to act and when to rest.

Spend some time with your journal and your creative practices to help you process what’s arising. Write down your dreams if you can, even if you don’t know what they’re trying to express. Don’t hesitate to reach-out to healers for greater support.

Try to find that still place inside of you that will keep you grounded and rooted. We all have a still place that is timeless and quiet. Find yours and practice coming back to it again and again.

Rooting into History

I find that knowing the history of violence and activism helps me to stay rooted when the world is burning.

If you have not yet familiarized yourself with the histories of Civil Rights, feminism, gay rights, etc., then every attack you witness will feel brand new. You won’t know the tactics of the past. You won’t know where to go for nourishment and focus . Every post on social media will boil your blood and spin you around. Dive into the history of Civil Rights in America, not just to understand the history of the hurt and the pain, but also for the solutions.

There are many different historical leaders, find the soulful teachers who speak to you, help you to grieve and to find your center when you need it. Find your truth-tellers and your healers.

Whether you’re engaging or disengaging, find time to sink-into longform writing. Find that different realm of time that long articles and books engender. This roots us into the complexity of the world and the long process of change. Learn about the evolution of the people you love. Watch documentaries on the lives of artists and thinkers. Read their memoirs or biographies.

I know there are endless lists of recommendations these days, but here are some of my favorite thinkers in case you need a place to start:

We Need You

This country and world need you right now. We need you to use your voice, and we need your coming to consciousness about complicity and power.

But please remember that “doing your work” in this movement also means staying joyful when you can. We need you laughing and making food for your friends. We need you making art and writing. If you go crazy in this suffering, nothing is won.

Your empathy needn’t be turned against you. Please, find your way back into your own body and healing. Find your joy again when you lose it. Find your center. Rest and dance. And when you’ve grieved and slept and stared at some trees, come back again and engage.

We’ll all still be here.

In love and solidarity,

Satya

Satya Doyle Byock
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